Not sure what to say.

I did not mean to make everyone sad.

I am doing that quite fine by myself.

Thank you, everyone, for your words.

I will keep taking one step at a time. No, I do not see how time will ever heal this complete physical pain I feel. It feels like I got that phone call three minutes ago and I know that it always will. As I just said to someone in email, I know that I will go on. Not that I have anything left to live for but because I just can't bear the thought that maybe the whole seeing your loved ones when you die theory is all a horrible mistake. At least while I still breathe I can look at pictures but if I died it might just be nothingness.

Sorry. I will try to make better sense later.

Sorry that I am unable to pick up the phone. I just can't right now.