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You are at the side of the road using your phone.
You need to pee.
Nearest service area is 43 miles.
It's daylight.
There are no trees, bushes or midgets in close walking distance.
Do you speed like crack whore on rollerskates?
Do you brazenly pee at the side of the road causing a distraction to passing Lituanian truck drivers?
or ......
Do you do what I did?
What did I do?
Well, at the end of the day, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
I was stuck in traffic once heading into the Dartford Tunnel when, to my utter amazement, a woman got out of the passenger side of a car in the lane next to me, and took a whizz right then and there. She wasn't old, she wasn't obviously mad, she just clearly had reached the point of no return.
It is one of the few things that makes me envious of men, that whole having-a-willy-and-being-able-to-wee-easily-standing-up thing.
So. What did you do, woman? Eh? EH?
It not the being able to pee standing up thats good, its the fact that we have a bit more room inside for the bladder to expand so we can go for longer without pissing. If you girlies didn't have a womb and ovaries and all that plumbing nonsense inside, if for instance it was all dangling between your legs in a little fleshy sack say, your bladder would have room to stretch out and you could go for hours without having to whizz.
Not a good mental image I grant you..............
 | Mrs_F [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 13:45 |
No you are right that is not a good mental image.
X
 | ladee-bird pro 2008-01-14 @ 12:59 |
Did you smoke some crack, don some roller skates and then skate the 43 miles to the service station?
No?
Did you pee in a bottle and then decide to keep it thinking that it might one day come in handy for sprinkling over some unsuspecting date in the back of a taxi?
 | Juzzzy pro http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk 2008-01-14 @ 13:01 |
And people mocked me for inventing the wee hose.
Who's laughing now, hey, you philistine bastards.
(Did you wee in the footwell? If so, well done, for that's an impressive crouch technieque.)
You used all your muscle traiing from the countless fistings and object insertions and peed out of the sun roof while driving in the fast lane and everyone thought it was raining.
No?
Oh I give up then.
 | soyunperdedor pro http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk 2008-01-14 @ 13:59 |
*agog* now that is an image and a half.
 | Memee [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 13:22 |
I hope you did what I do in this case...
Yank the car over to the side of the road, open up the passenger side door's [hopefully there are two...] and squat inbetween them! What the heck else are you supposed to do? Let the bladder explode?? I think not.
An extra large coffee cup helps in a pinch too.. but sometimes we are not so lucky as to have a 'resevoir' handy..hence.. the 'passenger side door'manouver.
I admire your spunk girly!!
K.
| Memee [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 13:26 |
p.s. That wasn't me in the tunnel. But I will tell you that Canadian highway's don't have a lot of pit stops ..so to speak... when you are travelling in the 'north country'..
BOL!
Do canadians piss in the woods?..................
I think we know the answer to that one.
 | RunDontWalk pro http://menomamauk.blog.co.uk 2008-01-15 @ 00:51 |
Canadians DO pee in the woods. And by the side of the road, wiff the car door open, pretty much any where when the need arises. And lemme tell ya, you would do the same. So pfft!
 | rithompson [Member] http://www.flickr.com/photos/rithompson/ 2008-01-14 @ 13:30 |
Got out of the car, and crouched by the side furthest from the road? 
 | rowtheboat pro http://rowtheboat.blog.co.uk/ 2008-01-14 @ 13:32 |
I hope it was a company car.
| Mrs_F [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 13:44 |
What is worse is being stuck in traffic for 2 hours 2 miles from services and toilets when you have already needed a pee for half an hour, so near and yet so far.
Well aren't you going to confess then?
X
 | bloglikesit [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 13:57 |
I'd like to think you used a bottle or squatted next to the car.
I'm too scared to consider any other possibility.
 | subville pro http://subville.blog.co.uk/ 2008-01-14 @ 14:55 |
Reached into yer glove compartment for that stack of handy Tena Lady that you keep specifically for this purpose? 
*barf*
I stayed right where I was at the side of said road.
Reached for coffee cup.
Drank luke warm remnants.
Hoisted my ass up and pee'd in cup (yes, I removed panty-hose first).
Placed lid back on coffee cup.
Placed cup into built in cup holder, that is oh so handy in modern cars, with the intent to discard at next stop.
Don't ask why I didn't dispose of at side of road as I have no logical reason, I just didn't.
Drove happily down the road.
Reached for my coffee and almost ... I said ALMOST ...drank my own bloody pee !!!!!!!!!!!!!
| ladee-bird pro 2008-01-14 @ 15:54 |
I've heard its good for your complexion...
 | NotBob [Member] http://notbob562.webs.com/blog.htm 2008-01-14 @ 15:28 |
Here's me reading this banter and badinage, and all I can think do say now is PMSL! 
 | AndrewsBlog [Member] 2008-01-14 @ 16:00 |
Ha, now if you had you may discover a hidden desire for water sports which could have opened up a whole new world!
At least you did not leave it there for days!
My cat sitter told me she had a terrible shock when getting into her car one day, it stank of cat piss, she was worried she had locked one of her cats in the car and she could not find it.
A search of the car soon reveled a bag of used litter from one of the customer that she had left in the car a few days earlier!
Trust me I am well aquainted with that sport as some readers may recall. lol
 | faffajane pro http://faffajane.blog.co.uk/ 2008-01-14 @ 16:53 |
PMSL, if you have to go you have to go
 | boredrich [Member] 2008-01-15 @ 10:35 |
hehehe blimey you are brave mind you it could have been worse it could have dropped it in your car and spilt the contents everywhere or a friend could have got in the car and had a sip from the cup thinking it was apple juice
| bloglikesit [Member] 2008-01-17 @ 16:46 |
Landers has a traffic jam story I'm sure he'll share when he has internet access.
x
 | jaketaylor pro 2008-01-18 @ 12:54 |
well sometimes you've just got to go. Glad you didn't drink it though! eurghhhh
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2008-01-14 @ 12:57