The tree is up and looking oh so pretty.

Not at my house of course

The lights bring a warmth to my heart.

No, they are NOT on fire

Oh look, how cute.

My mother has put all these different size gift bags under the tree.

Hmmm, names on them. DO I look?

Is the pope catholic?

Hmmmm, maybe there's money of the paper kind inside cos none are heavy nor making noise when I gently shake 'em.

* cough *

"Don't bother hun, they're empty" says my ever pessimistic dad.

"Why?" I question with my crestfallen face.

"Cos they're all bloody empty ... they're from last year"

"Eh"

"Your batty mother thought it would look cute. 'Decorations' she said"

So, there you have it.

My mother has lost the fucking plot.

Nursing home vacancies anyone?