Another trip to Leeds. Another packed train.

No my new job is not customer service for National Rail.

Although I think I would be a wonderfully compassionate ambassador for train travel in this sunny country.

What? I so would.

Anyway, back to my point.

If the sign says ' quiet carriage ' does that mean that I can to ' quietly ' smack the guy who keeps glaring at me?

£1.37 and some belly button fluff to the person who can guess why he is glaring at me.