...... singing worse than Fatey.

How many of you just asked "What was the question?"

Another trip to Leeds. Another packed train.

No my new job is not customer service for National Rail.

Although I think I would be a wonderfully compassionate ambassador for train travel in this sunny country.

What? I so would.

Anyway, back to my point.

If the sign says ' quiet carriage ' does that mean that I can to ' quietly ' smack the guy who keeps glaring at me?

£1.37 and some belly button fluff to the person who can guess why he is glaring at me.

Seems that you guys can survive without me after all. If your blogs are anything to go by anyway.

Now.

Yes I found wine.

Yes I relieved the boredom.

Yes I am still sexless. Well actually I am a sex. I am just without.

Oh bugger me that all sounds wrong.

And no, I am not offering a buggering.

Oh goodness. Take the wine away.

However back to sex. I shall be rectifying that in a few weeks. Remember the guy from abroad who I was getting to see every few months? He will be in the UK next month and I have informed him that I require use of his body for about 5 hours.

Oh and guess who now lives in London and not Leeds.

Yep, I sent toothbrush boy a text whenI was up there last week. I know, I know ... don't laugh. Imagine my shock when he texts back that he lives in London now. Arghhhhhh .... little too close.

Oh sorry to any and all who got stupid blank texts from a strange number today.

So I need to at least fix 2 out of 3.

Oh yes .... wild child that I am I shall be going grocery shopping.

Oh new phone number so some of you should be expecting a text with new number (as so as I can figure out this damn phone)

I promise to catch up on what y'all have been up to over the next couple of days too.

x

Is that a song title? Sounds like one.

Anyway. Off to Leeds after a rather interesting taxi trip from Paddington to Euston. Don't ask.

Taxi driver was worthy of a second look. Oops, sorry did I show too much cleavage when gathering my bits?

I have a really annoying group of four in front of me. Obviously tourists.

Yeah, cos I blend.

Anyway. A long four hours ahead.

Make sure I don't forget to change at Manchester.

Now let me clear summat up.

I did not just fall out of an inbred Jerry Springer show.

I really HAVE stayed in some very luxurious hotels before.

However .....

This is more fun than a mud wrestling match with Sandra Bullock, Me and Cheesecake.

I have just spent 10 minutes trying to slam the lid down on this 'quiet close' toilet !

Fucking amazing and I do think it' time to stroll down to the bar and test the limits of this expense account.

Anyone in Bristol may wanna stay away from town tonight.

When my new compnay put me up in a hotel this bloody nice.

Oh a drink when get to my room? Don't mind if I do.

Gaze out of my perch on high at the rather nice city view? Don't mind if 3 do.

Power shower? Don't mind if I do.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

When my new compnay put me up in a hotel this bloody nice.

Oh a drink when get to my room? Don't mind if I do.

Gaze out of my perch on high at the rather nice city view? Don't mind if 3 do.

Power shower? Don't mind if I do.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Sorry. Been busy.

You will, however, be glad to know that after only 10 days I am on the shortlist for my own office.

My productivity will increase tenfold and so will my ability to blog. Actually my lack of daytime blogging has really shown me how much I was bored at my old job. If that makes sense.

Sorry that I have missed so much but those of you who know me know its not lack of caring.

Now, lets talk about the plumber, my ex from the sandbox and biscuit crumbs.

Yep. I am adamantly refusing to get dressed today.

I have been running in circles for over a week now.

Today I am taking care of me.

Music playing. Clothes washing. House to myself.

Gonna dye my hair later and drink wine.

Oh yes, I lead the exciting life of a superstar.

I feel kinda out of the blog loop but is that really a bad thing?

I'm sure you all understand I am a wee bit preoccupied right now but I just had to run in and share summat.

Years ago when I was in school there were 4 boys who were the school hotties. The Famous Four.

Every girl, your truly included, had crushes on them.

I never revealed mine as I was always 'Good ole Abi', tomboy, up for a laugh ... etc etc. I was certainly never girlfriend material. It never really bothered me cos I loved being who I was and had no plans to be all girly just to fit in.

So I am sitting this morning going through the HR files of my new little kingdom.

It's funny how a name brings back memories. Exact same name as one of The Famous Four. Took a nice stroll down memory lane. This afternoon I went to see Namesake. Looks nothing like him. Memory Boy was slim and had a head full of blonde hair. Namesake was bald and with belly.

I sighed a big sigh of relief and laughed. I said "You have the same name as a guy I had a crush on when I was 13" (22 bloody years ago ... ughhhh)

You will never believe what he said.

"Abi ..... Oh my God. You look sooooooooooo good."

Small world ... Namesake IS Memory Boy !!!

Ha !! Not so bloody tomboy now am I eh?

First day at the new job.

They already have three road trips lined up for me.

One is in Leeds.

Guess which hotel?

Yep.

Wonder if toothbrush boy still works there.