OK.

Contest is over tomorrow at noon so get your hat in the ring so to speak.

Click Here.

Well. I failed.

All I needed to do was have 10 somewhat sufficent posts today to be able to knock the nakedish pictures to the next page.

Three more to go even after this obvious filler.

Sorry Sminchy ... cover the kids eyes for a couple of days. In fact I shall no doubt be doing drunken blogging over the dismal days ahead so maybe you should send 'em to their grandparents or summat.

It's in their best interests.

Ok, we are going to play a little game here.

"Reader tells the story"

I am going to show you three things and you are going to try and tell me what you think happened to me that involves these three t hings back in 1996 when I was living in California. (Stay away from LA Juzzzy) Bonus points if you can actually name the 'items' ( The 'lady' is NOT Madonna )

EDIT : Picture one deleted for various legal reasons ... lmao.

C'mon ... play along and I may actually confess the real story at some point.

Well, just read this about the town I work in. Nice.

"Wife swapping, boss humping, nanny screwing and abortions were as rife as tax dodging and expenses fiddling.

I stood on Middle England's high ground and felt nauseous. But didn't we all?"

* mental note ... must hump the boss at least *

This made me giggle.

I have just been reading the blog of the person who I drew in the 'Secret Santa'.

What a wonderful, decent, beautiful person.

How in the F am I going to do justice to this person?

I am a sarcastic, sometimes evil, partly dead inside person.

Me thinks this does not make good math.

Ok, let me first say that I am not suddenly getting into the christmas spirit ( well, the vodka I am but that's another story ) but I do wish to throw a scenario at you and listen to your thoughts.

Picture if you will:

You invite me to your house. I get there and as you open the door you politely ask me to take off my shoes. I turn around and stomp in your flower beds and get mud all over my shoes, brush past you and then proceed to walk all through your house in my now muddy shoes.

How do you feel about this? Would you allow me to do it as you don't want to offend me? If I come to your house should I really be expected to respect your custom of taking off shoes?

EXACTLY !!!!!!!

So would all the politically correct twats who are scared to say "Merry Christmas" please grow some balls and stand up for yourselves.

I moved here from the States but did not expect anyone to celebrate 4th of July or Thanksgiving. I celebrated because I don't feel you have to lose your identity to live elsewhere but you also should not expect others to lose theirs because you are living there.

Why?

BECAUSE I CAME TO YOUR COUNTRY AND THERFORE DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO ABANDON YOUR TRADITIONS TO SUIT ME !!!!

* and breathe *

Well, yesterday as many of you know, my goal was to post pictures all day and post enough to push a certain post off the front page. Mission accomplished.

Todays mission ... post enough drivel to get all those pictures out of here. After all, Sminchy can't read my blog until they are gone for fear of damaging young minds.

Hmmmmmm ... at 10 posts per page this may be either interesting, controversial or just plain boring.

Soooooooooooooo ..........................

and my mind is blank.

* glares at blogville ~ daring the first person to make a comment on that *