Ok, I do not normally inflate other bloggers readership ... your talents ( or lack of ) will do that for you.

However .. this post has to be read.

I will be very interested to see how this one spirals... and which way it spirals.

Go TKK Go !!!!

I sent notification in the form of a death certificate to HMRC some time back that a certain client of mine, who was having the blood drained out of him by the government, had passed away, died, kicked the bucket, snuffed it ... tis no more.

I got a letter back today and it has just reached my desk.

"Please provide documention in addition to that already provided to confirm your clients condition or we will have to assume the condition is no longer valid" ( I am ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY not kidding )

"Please respond immediately to prevent further proceedings"

WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dig him up then buddy, see if you can sell his fucking burial suit !!

A new soup for ya.

Black Velvet

Ingredients
Half a pint of Guinness
Half a pint of cider

Method
Pour the cider into the half a pint of Guinness.
Notes

Upon completion of the two being mixed together a mind blowing bittersweet concoction is produced.
As the above consists of a pint of liquid going into a pint glass, the first couple of attempts will cause a large amount of froth.
The cider should be of one of the stronger varieties.
For the rich man's version use champagne instead of cider.

Tom Collins

Ingredients

2oz Gin (dry is preferred)
1oz Lemon juice
1 teaspoon Sugar
3oz Club soda
Method

Mix gin, lemon juice and sugar with ice in a shaker. Shake well.

Strain into a Collins glass nearly filled with ice.

Add club soda. Garnish with a lime slice or wedge1.

Caveat
Unless you are royalty, your Tom Collins will never be made like this. Nobody makes a Collins from scratch. A Collins mix - which is basically club soda, lemon juice, and sugar - is generally sprayed from the fountain hose behind the bar. Americans can purchase it by the 2-litre plastic bottle in any decent-sized market.

Few bars have actual Collins glasses, which are generally speaking larger than a highball glass and often have a frosted texture. In bars, you will find a true Collins glass about as frequently as you will find a beautiful barmaid who digs drunk loudmouths. Most serve the Tom Collins in a highball glass.

Notes

The Tom Collins is widely popular and is best enjoyed as a sipping drink, to be savoured rather than guzzled, and is not for the sole purpose of getting drunk. Its popularity has generated both the glass in which it is served and a vast family of Collins-style drinks.

Part of the popularity of the Tom Collins comes from its reputation as a drink which is almost impossible to mix improperly. Throw some gin and Collins mix at some ice and presto. If the truth is to be told, there are precious few with taste buds sufficiently schooled to object to the more casual Collins concoction, which is probably why practically no two actual recipes for the Tom Collins are exactly the same. The important thing is not to get uptight about the particulars of the drink. Don't send it back if it's sweet gin in a highball glass with a lemon. The Tom Collins is a social drink, and demands amiability. Enjoy it with an air of sophisticated nonchalance.

History

Tales of the naming of the Tom Collins vary as widely as the recipes, though there are two basic varieties.

Some believe that it was named after the alcohol used in its mixing, Old Tom Gin, which was a sweet gin popular at the turn of the 20th Century. This still leaves the 'Collins' part of the name open to question.

Others believe it was named after the clever bartender who invented it.

Whichever, if either, is true, there is no consensus on exactly where or when the invention of the Tom Collins took place. A couple of stories refer to bartenders in the New York/New Jersey area, but San Francisco also believes itself to be the city of origin. The most common English story involves the head waiter from a hotel bar called Limmer's. Australia also lays claim to the drink's invention.

The mysteries surrounding the spawning of the Tom Collins suggest one conclusion; a Tom Collins is for drinking, not studying.

Variations

There are a ridiculous number of variations on the basic Tom Collins theme, most differing primarily in the main alcoholic ingredient. Here are a few of the most common Collinses, along with their base alcohols.

Brandy Collins (Brandy)
Jack Collins (Applejack)
John Collins (Bourbon)
Mike Collins (Irish whiskey)
Pedro (or Rum) Collins (Rum)
Sandy (or Jock) Collins (Scotch)
Vodka Collins (Vodka)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Garnishes in the US vary from coast to coast. West Coast bartenders prefer lime, East Coast bartenders prefer orange. Often cherries find their way into the drink as well. Outside America, you're on your own.

OK .. I need help.

I need a user manual ... one I can just download would be great.

Navman iCN 510 GPS Receiver

C'mon .. show me that us being such an eclectic group someone will know how to find this for me.

* numpty waiting on wine here *

Please, please, please open coments back up on your blog.

I miss having random conversations !!

Someone explain to me what 'open marriage' means? Yet you never get to meet this oh so open wife. Cheating, lying fuckers !! Married men get on my nerves.

I want a cup of tea.

I got an assistant today that I have to share my fucking office with.

He is a twat ( cute but still a twat ).

Got my hair cut yesterday and it's truely fucked up.

Forgot to get up early to go pick up package at post office. Bollocks.

Someone keeps calling me and hanging up.

I am cold.

Is it 5 o'clock yet?