I just do not feel like this toady.
I may feel more inclined later but to be honest I don't even feel like blogging ( my normal 'get through the day activity') today.
I had a really crappy phone call this morning from my son, C. Most of you may know he is 14 and is currently living with his dad in the States. Grass being greener and all that. Well, the only thing that has truely kept me going is the knowledge that C will be here for christmas. His dad though being the super cool fucking dad that he is has booked a ski holiday and casually ( my ass ) let C know he is welcome to go skiing and t ake some friends along too. What fucking 14 year old is gonna turn that down. I am heartbroken. This christmas was really important to me considering where I was this time last year. I have fingernail marks in my thigh as I had to prevent myself crying because I am NOT going to emotionally blackmail C. I am so incredibly fucking bollockingly depressed right now. Fuck it.
Christmas is well and truely cancelled.

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